IF YOU WANT A THING BAD ENOUGH

This is a quote I grew up listening to my Dad quote frequently.  I quote it to myself often while running.  I ran my last 20 miler before the race and I am PUMPED!

IF YOU WANT A THING BAD ENOUGH
If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it
Work day and night for it
Give up your time, your peace and your sleep for it,
If only a desire of it
Makes your arm strong enough
Never to tire of it
Makes you hold all things tawdry and cheap for it
If life seems empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it
If gladly you sweat for it, fret for it, plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God and of man for it
If you'll simply go after the thing that you want
With all your capacity
Strength and sagacity
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity
If neither cold, or poverty, famished or gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body and brain,
Can turn you away from the thing that you want
If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it
YOU'LL GET IT!!!!!

JOURNAL POST

Tessa's birthday was an emotional day for me.  Looking back on the past year, the ups and downs of figuring out all that's going on with Tessa, the things we've learned, how much we've grown, it's been a humbling year to say the least.
January was an especially hard time for our family.  We found out Tessa has Ocular Albinism and her results of her MRI came back abnormal.  I hit rock bottom.  I spent most of my time crying with Tessa.  I just wanted to take Tessa, find a dark cave and hide where nobody could comment on my precious baby, no doctors could tell me all of the things that were wrong with her.  She is perfect the way she is.  My heart was so broken.  There was one morning that I woke up and within a few minutes of being awake, while still lying in bed, the crying began for the day.  I knew things had to change.  This was not the wife or mother I wanted to be.  Around that time my Relief Society president and really good friend brought me over dinner and flowers.  They will never know how incredibly much that meant to me.  The Relief Society president also has a daughter with special needs.  I didn't feel so alone.  She has been such a great support and given me so much hope this year.  
When one of the nurses was checking on me in the hospital after I'd had Tessa, she reminded me that although Savannah is now a big sister, she is still a baby.  I've had to remind myself of that so much this past year.  It was such great advice!  Savannah has gone through so much this year as well.  Because this has been a hard year on mommy, it was a hard year on Savannah.  I've expected so much more of her than I should have.  She is such a caring big sister.  She is always trying to help Tessa with something.  She gets so concerned when Tessa's glasses fall of.  She has been forced to learn so many unselfish qualities this year.  While it breaks my heart to think of how she has at times been neglected or sat and watched tv for hours at a time because mommy is in her room crying, I am so proud of her!  She is such a sweet little girl.  She is such and obedient and caring daughter and sister.
I feel like I can relate so well to the mom in Dumbo.  I can't sit through that movie without crying because I feel like that's me, except in an elephants body!  Ha!  I have no tolerance for anything negative being said or done toward Tessa.  Some things that people say are very surprising.  I learned a few weeks ago that Trevor is on the same page.  Savannah had a friend over playing and her friend hit Tessa on the head with a toy baseball bat.  In our 6 years of marriage I've never seen Trevor get so angry.  It made me so happy though.  I've said it so many times, one of the things I fear the most is Tessa being bullied.  I'm glad to know that not only does she have a crazy mama bear, she has a crazy papa bear too!
Now, I look back on this past year with a heart full of gratitude!  I am so incredibly grateful for what I've learned.  Most of what I've learned I know I wouldn't have learned any other way.  I feel like I've learned more about compassion, service and love in this past year than I have in my whole life combined.  Tessa is scheduled for another MRI next month and I am ok.  I know that the Lord knows what's best for Tessa, for our family and for me.  If things get tough again, we will become stronger. We've come so far, individually and as family!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS TESSA BESSA!

Tessa did not like her birthday cake.  She took a couple of bites, enjoyed playing with the cake and then threw up.  We sure love our sweet girl!

FATHERS & SONS (AND SAVANNAH) CAMP OUT

Savannah went to Fathers and Sons with Trevor and had a blast!  She was so excited to go on an adventure with Daddy!  Any time Savannah and Daddy go somewhere just the two of them Daddy tells her they're going on an adventure and somehow Daddy always manages to turn whatever they're doing into an adventure!  She had so much fun and came home stinky and exhausted!

The little boy she's walking with in the picture is Roger.  Roger's mom and I are in the Relief Society Presidency together so they get to play together at least once a week during presidency meetings.  Savannah talks about him constantly.  If she was old enough she would have a huge crush on him!  I was just looking at pictures of Savannah a year ago and couldn't believe how much she's grown up in the past year.   I feel like in no time it will really be a picture of her and a boyfriend.  Oh boy!

YUMMY!!

I had some stuff that I had to get done so I put Tessa in her highchair with part of a cinnamon roll to munch on.  It was definitely a hit!

Children's Festival

Every year Enterprise puts on a Children's Festival.  There were so many fun things for Savannah to do and it was all free!!  The night ended with fire works! We had a blast!

STRAWBERRY PICKING!

We went strawberry picking!  The farm was so cool!  They let us eat the strawberries as we picked them.  The girls and Daddy were in heaven!